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Fear – Don’t Let It Stop You

Fear | Don't Let It Stop You

As I was laying down on my acupuncture table and meditating, a message came to me.  “What Do You Fear?”  Hmmm … that’s funny I thought to myself.  Then I thought of things that might be hindering my business.  I realized, while I was in a total state of relaxation, that a fear that slows my process is the fear that “I don’t know it all”.   Now, that’s not a rational fear, of course.  Nobody knows it all.  But, as a subconscious albeit irrational fear, it is bound to have an impact on my self-perception, and on the way I operate my day to day business.

Fear came up several times during the day.

It was discussed on a radio show, I saw a book with that title while shopping in a local health food store, and then I met someone in a waiting room talking about the same subject.  

So I decided to pay attention.  

What is it that I fear?  I thought that I was going along so nicely with goals, image boards, techniques…you know the whole DMO (daily method of operation) of my day.  WRONG!!!!

I realized I was fearful of many things beyond the obvious fact that I’m not perfect.

So I made a list and started my challenge to “name” my fears.  

After a session of visualizations, meditations and mindfulness, I found myself facing in the inner Me.  Fears and all!

I’ll be open and honest with you and tell you my fears.  Maybe you have the same, or maybe you can add to my list.

Fearful of doing a webinar.

That’s right folks, I haven’t done one yet because of so many excuses.  My husband laughs at this because I’ve been on radio, television, given many lectures and workshops… I just haven’t done a freakin’ webinar yet!  Fear of the unknown, you could say.

Fearful of moving.  

The more money I’m making, the more I have an opportunity to live in different quarters that might better suit my needs.  I want an office where my immediate team can work directly with me.  I want my own sound studio.  (that’s right, I’m not afraid of doing videos, only webinars 🙂  Now, what does moving entail?  Packing, moving … you know, that whole dreaded relocation experience.

Fearful of all work overload.
Can I really do it all?  How long can I keep balancing so many diverse aspects of a growing and thriving online business before the wheels come off?

Fearful of traveling!   
I thought of the experience of packing, waiting on a long line at the airport, getting frisked, sitting in a plane and getting into the hotel.  What if I didn’t like the hotel? What if I missed the conference I was attending?   Here is where I found all the what if’s that I thought I had mastered.

You see, I may have mastered them consciously… but that doesn’t mean they’re gone.  Sometimes they just hide deeper inside us.

 

FEAR stops us in our path.  

We can have our business all laid out nice and neat; have our long term and short term goals set up; be taking all the right action necessary.  But what if one little piece of the puzzle short-circuits?  This is the kind of fear that Stops you from moving forward, for fear of what you “might” encounter around the next bend.

So you see my friends, we are all human, we can work our ass off to improve ourselves and our businesses, but the very first thing you must master is your own fears.  Get into yourself…really and be honest with what your fears are.  Until you’ve confronted, labeled and described them in detail, they loom as invisible monsters under your bed.  Once you bring them to light, call them by name and understand that they are rooted far more in fantasy than reality… they vanish!

I learned so much from laying on the acupuncturist table this week.  

I am grateful for the “appearance” of my subconscious, or my spirit guide, or whatever came to me and taught me this valuable lesson.

Now it is time to roll up my sleeves and see a new path at the end of my tunnel.

Grab my sword and slay the dragon.

What are your fears?  

Don’t answer right away!  

Think about it and if you are comfortable, share some of them in a comment below.  If you don’t want to share something that intimate, let me know what you think of my fears.

Blessings,
Donna

Donna Merrill
Donna is a well known blogger and creator of "Blogging Magic" - an intensive guide to blogging. "Blogging Magic" is for beginners who are trying to figure out how to bring their blogs to life with tons of visits, comments and social media interaction. It's even for advanced bloggers looking to reach new levels of authority and engagement with their audience.

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51 Responses to Fear – Don’t Let It Stop You

  1. Adrienne
    Twitter:
    May 17, 2012 at 6:08 pm #

    Wow Donna,

    I’m really surprised that you are still fearful of some things so I for one really appreciate you sharing this with us. Want to know why?

    I have yet to do a webinar too! Oh yeah, the lady who has done over 180 videos is afraid of doing a webinar. Maybe we should do one together and get over our fear. Just kidding, I’m still afraid.

    I have another fear that is holding me back. Man, I can’t believe I’m sharing this with you.

    I’m fearful of speaking in front of people. I have been invited to speak at a conference in October and I’m going to be paid some big bucks for it but I’m seriously thinking of turning it down because of this fear. Now I know I can go to toastmasters and all those other routes and I have. I get in front of people and I freeze. I forget what I’m suppose to say and if I try reading it, I stumble all over my words. I can’t believe that at my age I still have these areas of fear haunting me.

    I’m just happy to know I’m not the only one. Oh, I’m very blessed for what I have and as far as I’ve come but it’s obvious that I still have a ways to go.

    Thanks for making me put it all out there Donna. Now to just get over this. Any suggestions?

    ~Adrienne
    Adrienne recently posted..How To Build Relationships Through Blog CommentsMy Profile

    • Donna Merrill
      Twitter:
      May 18, 2012 at 1:58 am #

      I used to be fearful of speaking in front of people too. I find that most speakers are. I cannot mention names here, but I know of 2 guru’s that get sick before their speaking engagements. It is absolutely normal.
      I started public speaking years ago when I was speaking about parapsychology at colleges. Imagine me…at that time a person with the lowest self esteem on the planet. Would I remember those terms? Would I go blank? Usual questions.
      But when I got up there, I didn’t look at the people, but rather just held on to my notes for security and shot it off the hip. They loved it.

      There was another time when I was an advocate of the “Battered Woman Shelter” and was asked to speak to large groups of women. I noticed that as I was telling my story (yes been there) people were walking out of the room. I got scared that I was a bore! What I found out later, was that they were going out to the phone booths (remember them) and calling for help.

      When I finished tearful women came up to me and hugged me. The audience was brought to tears. I guess I did my job!
      So don’t be fearful, just be you!
      Donna
      Donna Merrill recently posted..Fear – Don’t Let It Stop YouMy Profile

    • Mitch Mitchell
      Twitter:
      May 20, 2012 at 5:41 am #

      Wow Adrienne, I didn’t know that about you; how freaky! Of course I’m not scared to speak in front of people, as I’ve spoken to 200 as easy as I’ve spoken to 5. But what I’ve noticed is that I do well when I’m in control, and I’m in control when it comes to speaking engagements. I was at an event earlier today and there were only 12 other people in the room, yet I found it hard for me to speak until I was called upon. Strange, isn’t it?
      Mitch Mitchell recently posted..Do You Forget To Give Positive Responses?My Profile

      • Donna Merrill
        Twitter:
        May 22, 2012 at 4:15 am #

        Hi Mitch, I think weather it is 5 or 500 people, we all get butterflies before speaking. But I find that it is in the anticipation of speaking is the problem. Once we start, we get on a roll.
        Donna Merrill recently posted..Fear – Don’t Let It Stop YouMy Profile

  2. Oliver Tausend May 17, 2012 at 9:21 pm #

    Hi Donna,

    some clever speaker said that FEAR means False Evidence Appearing Real. While that sounds good, it isn’t true. I found out that fear is anticipation of pain. Basically, it comes down to the fact that we anticipate the future which is impossible as we can only live in the present moment – no matter how hard we might try to undo the past or anticipate the future. I would ask myself, do I want to do a webinar in the first place ? If I fear something I don’t want to do anyway, why even bother ?

    Thanks for your candor and sharing your insights.

    Be blessed

    Oliver

    • Donna Merrill
      Twitter:
      May 18, 2012 at 2:52 pm #

      Hi Oliver I have heard that saying that FEAR is False Evidence Appearing Real in my mindset group.
      This is why we need to face the “fact” and dig into the “emotion” to get to the truth of the matter.
      I wrote this not only because of my AHA moment, but for my clients too. When I ask them to do something, they say “I can’t do that.” I don’t believe in the “I can’ts” it is mere “I don’t want to”
      Thanks for your insights,
      Donna
      Donna Merrill recently posted..Fear – Don’t Let It Stop YouMy Profile

  3. Ileane May 18, 2012 at 10:15 am #

    Donna, I think I can help you and Adrienne with the webinar phobia. Let’s meet for a Google Hang Out on Air. I’ll take the lead (because I’m such a pro haha! I’ve done a grand total of ONE so far) and then we can each chime in with a topic. The cool thing is that it will be just us three or who ever else wants to step up to the plate and I think if we just do this without an agenda or a specific goal other than to introduce ourselves to the concept we can all “get over it”!

    I’m really serious about this. Let’s try for Saturday afternoon shall we? Sunday is good for me too. Just pick a time.
    Ileane recently posted..Why Guest Bloggers Keep Trying to Prove I am Wrong!My Profile

    • Donna Merrill
      Twitter:
      May 18, 2012 at 3:03 pm #

      What a great idea! Funny, I just did my first Google hangout last night. It was fun. I’m free on Saturday. I will message you and Adrienne.
      Thanks
      Donna
      Donna Merrill recently posted..Fear – Don’t Let It Stop YouMy Profile

    • Adrienne
      Twitter:
      May 18, 2012 at 4:33 pm #

      Hey Ileane,

      I appreciate you doing that. I’ve done Google hangouts as well as videos but I don’t know why I’m so darn nervous about doing my own webinar. I guess it’s because I have to talk for an entire hour, or a little less, on a certain topic.

      I can’t do it Saturday, I’m taking my Mom to her 70th high school reunion out of town. Will be gone all day long.

      Let’s do plan a time though and I appreciate you helping Ileane. I have to move through this fear but I’m still a nervous wreck.

      You rock young lady!

      ~Adrienne
      Adrienne recently posted..How To Build Relationships Through Blog CommentsMy Profile

  4. Steve Vernon May 18, 2012 at 2:58 pm #

    Wow, Donna! What a brave post! I think the only fear I share in your list (and I’m not sure it’s as much a fear as the fact that I’ve simply never seriously thought about pulling the tools together to do a webinar or possibly that I don’t really think I have anything to share via that medium that a thousand other people aren’t already sharing and doing it well. I certainly don’t have a fear of moving or travel, and I think I constantly overload myself with stuff to do. Whether or not those things are productive is another question, HA!

    I’ve been told more than once that I have a fear of success. OUCH! Am still working to overcome that one!

    • Donna Merrill
      Twitter:
      May 18, 2012 at 3:20 pm #

      Hi Steve, We all have fears, but as Oliver pointed out FEAR is False Evidence Appearing Real.

      Fear of Success? That can be turned around! I know many that do have that fear. But…the question is what is success? Is it a dollar amount? Fame? Relationship issues? I have dealt with people who had fear of success and found that it was stepping out of their comfort zone. (as most fears are) Re-programming yourself works. I would suggest that you write on your bathroom mirror….yes It is the first place we go to when we wake up isn’t it? I DESERVE! Just those two words on a post it or a washable red marker. Look at it, say it out loud and try to say it during the day. After 30 days it will be in your sub-conscious and notice what happens.
      Blessings,
      Donna
      Donna Merrill recently posted..Fear – Don’t Let It Stop YouMy Profile

  5. Sylviane Nuccio May 18, 2012 at 8:33 pm #

    Hi Donna,

    I tell you, don’t we all have those nasty fears?

    The worst part about fears is that like in your case, we might not be aware we have them. That’s why meditation is so important, because it will help you reveal those fears and issues to you. As we can see in your case, fear can also affect someone who is successful and has had loads of achievements. Fears is not partial, and can affect anyone, anytime.

    I had so many fears as a teenager and a young adult, that’s not even funny. Some of such fears gave me a stomach ulcer at age 17, but that didn’t stop there. Lots of negative results came about in the form of very negative results in my life all because of some nasty fears. At the time I didn’t know any better.

    Fortunately, I feel much, much better now and overcame some of my worst demons, but by no mean am I completely free, yet. But as you mentioned to me recently, it’s an ongoing process.

    Thanks for sharing this great information with us. I’m sure it can help many 🙂
    Sylviane Nuccio recently posted..Building A Positive Attitude Amongst NegativityMy Profile

  6. Mitch Mitchell
    Twitter:
    May 20, 2012 at 5:39 am #

    My fear is rejection due to marketing. I’ve been in business for myself almost 11 years and I know that one thing is what’s kept me from being more successful.

    As to the webinar, I’ve done a few, and though I have no problem getting in front of people and the like, what was interesting is that I didn’t buy my first webcam until winter 2010 because I had never really thought of myself as making straight up videos. However, once you get used to seeing yourself on video then everything else comes naturally.
    Mitch Mitchell recently posted..Are You Selfless Or Stupid?My Profile

    • Donna Merrill
      Twitter:
      May 22, 2012 at 4:26 am #

      Oh I know that feeling Mitch! The first time I did a video I freaked out. I only could see my flaws. But then the AHA moment captured me. I just said to myself “get over it….this is your business not your hairstyle”
      The more I did, the more comfortable I got at it. When I have people I coach I tell them to do a 30 day challenge in videos. Do one a day for 30 days and BINGO…all is well.
      As for your fear of rejection due to marketing – just remember this: There are many ways to skin a cat.
      Donna
      Donna Merrill recently posted..Fear – Don’t Let It Stop YouMy Profile

  7. marquita herald
    Twitter:
    May 20, 2012 at 5:13 pm #

    I have to echo previous comments Donna, very gutsy of you to share your fears with your readers. Overcoming fears is really all about expanding the walls of our comfort zone and the longer we allow a fear to go unattended, the tougher it will be to shove those walls back. You’re willingness to share your own fears will surely help others courage to look at their own.
    marquita herald recently posted..Inspirational Words of WisdomMy Profile

    • Donna Merrill
      Twitter:
      May 22, 2012 at 4:28 am #

      Hi Marquita,
      Very true. Fear teaches us a lesson. When it comes in we must fight hard to overcome it. I had so many fears in the past and fought them one by one. Looking back I feel like a warrior!
      It is such a great feeling to face fear and win!
      Donna
      Donna Merrill recently posted..Fear – Don’t Let It Stop YouMy Profile

  8. Rick Lelchuk May 20, 2012 at 7:48 pm #

    Donna,

    What I am afraid of is not having enough money when the time comes to retire. I’m also afraid I’ll never get to retire.

    I am afraid that when I give a presentation or a speech I won’t connect the dots and people won’t understand what I intended.

    I am afraid of looking back on my life and wondering why I didn’t do things in a consistent planned manner.

    There are two kinds of fears – Real fear – a knife to your throat; and Made Up Fear – everything else.

    Just posted the following on Betternetworker and thought it might be appropriate here.

    !===!===!===!===!===!

    Getting out of your comfort zone will require some or all of the following:

    1. Being willing to make a fool of yourself. (Of course, you can only do that if you are comfortable in your own skin.
    2. Face your fears. Know what scares the bejeebers out of you and practice being fearless in the face of it.
    3. Take a risk. You can’t get to second base if you never leave first. You’ll never know what you are capable of if you don’t try something new.
    4. Get comfortable with the unknown. We can’t know or plan for every eventuality. Life is full of the unfamiliar. Embrace the unknown with faith.
    5. Be bold in all that you do. You’ve never heard anything from the timid entrepreneur.

    In Clarity and Success,

    RICK
    Rick Lelchuk recently posted..Looking for LeadersMy Profile

    • Donna Merrill
      Twitter:
      May 22, 2012 at 4:46 am #

      Thank you for your wonderful comment Rick. I don’t understand the word Retire lol. Entrepreneurs never retire. We like to ride that wave.
      In this economy people that do “retire” have to compensate their monthly checks.
      I do have that fear once in a while, but I hedged myself with different investments. Who knows? They may sink. But I do know that I am a survivor, so whatever it takes, I will do. I see myself working until I die. Really..as long as I have my wits about me and my health, I will continue working.

      Your fear of a presentation: The heck with it if the people cannot connect the dots! Be fearless and share your knowledge. You do have a lot of that. If it is over their heads, they will get something out of it. When you are presenting something you do it from your heart and knowledge. If they don’t get it, seek another crowd.

      When you say “I am afraid of looking back on my life and wondering why I didn’t do things in a consistent planned manner.” I think that comes from our upbringing back in the day where pensions were safe. That’s a pretty hard statement you made on yourself. Also a Judgement on yourself.
      So think about that Rick. You are a great person, a wonderful go giving blogger and a great teacher to me. Be that person always.

      But then you give yourself all the answers at the later part of your comment. So I say take your own advice and live your life to the fullest.

      I always enjoy your comments,
      Donna
      Donna Merrill recently posted..Fear – Don’t Let It Stop YouMy Profile

  9. Alex Aguilar May 21, 2012 at 6:50 am #

    Great post Donna, it was brave of you to share your innermost fears with everyone. Reading it hit a nerve with me.

    I guess my biggest fear would have to be a fear of failure. I often start projects and abandon them half complete because I don’t like the way things are progressing or I am worried I won’t succeed. I also have this absurd habit of hitting the reset switch and starting from scratch if everything does not go perfectly the first time round. The older I get I start to realize that these fears are holding me back and I have to make certain changes within myself to move forward in life…

    Oh, and I’m extremely claustrophobic – that still counts as a fear, right?

    • Donna Merrill
      Twitter:
      May 22, 2012 at 7:50 pm #

      Hi Alex,
      Fear of Failure: That’s a good one and you are brave enough to say it. I’m glad you did. Many people have this fear and it does hold you back. In my humble experience, I would think it is neuro-linked back to the past. Whenever I come across this situation with a client, I suggest hypnotherapy -and by that I mean finding a good psychologist that uses that. There are many crack pots out there that can do more harm than good.
      Also any type of NLP methods that can get you to a place where this all started. Fear of failure usually derives from the past. I’m not a licensed therapist – this is only my opinion (disclaimer lol)
      But any way where you can reach out for help in this situation will push you forward.

      Claustrophobic? Yes, I would say that is fear based, but many people are. It depends on the degree. As long as it doesn’t interfere with your lifestyle, it is ok.

      Donna
      Donna Merrill recently posted..Fear – Don’t Let It Stop YouMy Profile

  10. Carol Lynn May 21, 2012 at 8:01 pm #

    What a great post, Donna, and one that really hits a nerve. How about a fear of facing my fears??? Sometimes I just don’t want to think about it, I just want to keep going and ignore it.

    So probably my biggest fear is of not getting anywhere – looking back in a year or five or ten and just being in the same place, with nothing to show for it. It’s like that “high school reunion” fear where you know you’re going to show up and be the only fat, bald, unemployed person there and start making up stories about your (imaginary) great life.

    Now, I can’t complain about my life, but there is certainly “more” I want to do and achieve and I fear one day I’ll look back and say… nope, never got there.

    Oh, and I’m also terrified of public speaking, just like a few of our friends here 🙂 But that’s more of a phobia, I think!

    I find one thing you said to be so important, and that’s the time we need to stop and listen to our inner minds. With 24/7 communication it can be hard to find a quiet place to just sit and think or not think. But to get in touch with what you really feel, and face it, you need the time and place to do it. I need to take your advice and spend more time quietly meditating.

    Thanks for the little kick and inspiration, you always deliver on both!
    Carol Lynn recently posted..Build A Better Website: 11 Tips For Writing A Great About PageMy Profile

    • Donna Merrill
      Twitter:
      May 22, 2012 at 5:07 am #

      Oh my friend, we all need to face our fears. If we don’t it will manifest somewhere else. Fear is an energy and if we don’t confront it, it will be pushed down somewhere in the body. A long time ago, I didn’t face my fears and ended up with panic attacks. So first, I do recommend that you face them one by one.

      I think your biggest fear of not getting anywhere is very common. But think of the moment. See where you are and what a great leader you are. See that you are always there helping people through your blog. I know..I read it all the time. You have so much to give.

      If you fear that “nope, I never got there” you must realize that you have time. Working at it will get you there. It’s an imaginary fear.

      As for public speaking. Everyone on this blog has that fear! It’s not a phobia, but a normal response. I know many speakers that actually get sick before they have to speak.

      I had a radio show back in the day and before it went on I used to tremble and feel sick to my stomach. But once the announcer said “And here is Donna..” I put on my smiley face (a trick in radio) and just started talking. You have to remember that radio talk can be a disaster with dead air time. I was afraid of that during the broadcast, but somehow it all worked out.

      And my friend you do need time to STOP and listen to your inner self once a day. NO EXCUSES! Incorporate it in your day. When taking a shower or a bath be in touch with that feeling of relaxation of the water and incorporate it there for a start. Washing dishes is another way of getting into that state. Any repetitive action is a great way to meditate. For starters!
      God luck with it
      Donna
      Donna Merrill recently posted..Fear – Don’t Let It Stop YouMy Profile

  11. alicia May 22, 2012 at 2:08 am #

    Fear is an emotion that holds a certain intensity of energy. Any number of situations, people, or events can invoke a person’s sense of fear. When I experience fear; it freezes me from doing anything and mostly from resolving the situation. I have overcome so many fears, but still I am a work in process. Thanks Donna, it gives me so much peace when I read your blog, you are wonderful.
    alicia recently posted..Vacationing on the Emerald IsleMy Profile

    • Donna Merrill
      Twitter:
      May 22, 2012 at 6:13 pm #

      Hi Alicia,
      Good to see that you have overcome many fears. Once we learn how to, the rest is easy. We apply what we have learned to overcome a certain fear and use that process for the next one. I think fear is a natural part of us, but we cannot let it stop us in our tracks.
      Thank you for visiting my blog,
      Donna
      Donna Merrill recently posted..Fear – Don’t Let It Stop YouMy Profile

  12. Mayura
    Twitter:
    May 22, 2012 at 3:12 am #

    Hi Donna,

    Ouch… you have fears? We all have. Right? 🙂 We can say that’s what stops us from doing things, but isn’t it the same thing help us gain more effort to overcome our fears or achieve something? 😉

    In addition, I see fears as this way when it combines with our will power – Fears could be helpful to prepare us always to face failures and remind us of recovery plans. So to be successive, fear helps indirectly too. If you weren’t fear of failing to serve your clients, you won’t be successful. no? 🙂

    We are humans and have different perspectives and motives. And we have different kind of fears 🙂 Though I talk this much on comment forms, I’m really fear to talk in front of others 😉 I’m trying not to, but still improving. But I try, try and try… Also I’m not a native English speaker. See I have excuses for them 😉 I’m still fear to show off.

    Also I’m fear to say “NO” for my friendly people. However I see it as a positive point yet, ’cause it helps me do more work in a day rather than leaving me more pending work. I like being busy all day 😉 That’s why I comment here now @ 8.30 am in the morning from local time without sleeping for yesterday. I’m fear to bring my work to next day which starts after getting up.

    Those are the best things I can think of being fearful 😉 I have more, but my mind isn’t capable of thinking them as I’m tired right now…

    Really nice to meet you Donna 🙂 I really enjoyed 2 posts of you so far. So I ll be back 😉

    Ohw… I’ve got another. I’m fear of failing to read your posts in future as I have many blogs to read. May be I ll land on yours late, but don’t mind. OK? 😉

    Have a great week with encouraging fears 😉

    Cheers…
    Mayura recently posted..How to Install Disqus Comment Platform on BloggerMy Profile

    • Donna Merrill
      Twitter:
      May 22, 2012 at 6:20 pm #

      You are too funny! I loved your comment. I used to have that fear of saying No. One day I looked in the mirror and practiced saying no. I did this for a long time. I noticed that I didn’t look like a monster, I didn’t look like I was insulting people. I also didn’t look too stern. I gave myself permission to say no.
      Many people are fearful of saying NO! But where does that lead them? Doing something that they don’t want to do for the person. Then that becomes a whole other issue. Bottom line it is a lie.
      We need to be honest and No is not a dirty word. It is better in communications when we can express our boundries.
      There are two types of fear. One is fear of something tangible like having someone break in to your house, encountering a dangerous person. That is a normal fear which we either fight or flight.

      But the other fear that comes from inside is a red flag to our persona. When that happens, it tells us we have to work on it. When we decide to, we gain power.

      Thanks for visiting my blog.
      Donna
      Donna Merrill recently posted..Fear – Don’t Let It Stop YouMy Profile

      • Mayura
        Twitter:
        May 23, 2012 at 12:27 am #

        Mostly I think if I say NO they will get hurt. I mean heartache not my fist on ’em 😉 But the thing is, you know, they know my expertise and ask for something I can do, but I don’t have enough time for that. However as I said I say YES and at last I feel I’ve done more work in less time 😉

        That’s a cool tip from you. Saying “NO” in front of a mirror. Simple but made us think more. I’ve never thought about how I look like when I say no other than my imagination. I ll try it.

        Thanks Donna 😉

        Cheers…
        Mayura recently posted..How to Post Tweets on Your Facebook ProfileMy Profile

  13. Brian Lagoni May 22, 2012 at 1:56 pm #

    Wow… I love reading all the comments here. It is such a revelation and you made them all tell their fears Donna. You are awesome!

    Regards,

    Brian

    • Donna Merrill
      Twitter:
      May 22, 2012 at 7:53 pm #

      Hi Brian,
      See what happens when you are brave enough to share? It encourages others to share or just start thinking. I brought this subject up because I see too many talented people coming to a dead hault in their business. I like to share social media strategies, but also like to dig a little deeper to help people get up and going.
      Thanks for stopping by
      Donna
      Donna Merrill recently posted..Fear – Don’t Let It Stop YouMy Profile

  14. Akos Fintor May 22, 2012 at 11:01 pm #

    Hey Donna,

    You’re awesome for being honest and just come right out with your fears. ( I think being real and cutting the B.S is what people want – or at least that’s what I want )

    Anyways….I am a really shy person and I was really afraid of doing videos…..a couple of years ago my friends were not “allowed” to take my picture at parties (that’s pretty absurd, I know). So I was thinking doing videos which is a HUGE step for me mainly because I was scared to death; but that’s exactly WHY I wanted to do it.
    I just hate things that I’m scared of. So the logical step (for me) is to face my fears, feel the fear and do it anyway!

    I actually came across a book about a month ago (picked it up at Barns and Nobles for a ridiculous $5) it is called “Feel the fear and do it anyway” by Susan Jeffers Ph.D. Awesome book and I highly recommend reading it because it can (what the hell) WILL start a snowball effect in a positive way in anybody’s life who’s looking to grow……..but scared.

    I really loved the post and surely tweet it!

    best to you!

    Akos

    • Donna Merrill
      Twitter:
      May 23, 2012 at 12:03 am #

      Hey Akos,
      Thank you for sharing too. Being real is what it is all about so I spilled out my fears. Look at the response, people are spilling their guts out too. This is great engagement.
      As for your fear of videos and pictures, I have the same problem. But when I said to myself “this is not me..it’s my business” the courage came to me.
      Once, years back when I was doing a mailing list with postcards I knew I had to have my picture on it. I had a semi-professional person shoot a roll of pictures. Oh did I mention I never let anyone take my pictures because of my low self esteem of myself? Anyway, The postcards came. There was I with long dreadlocks (which were cool) hanging out against a beautiful waterfall.
      I was in my office when they came. I started crying over those 5,000 postcards, saying to myself “Oh no…I look terrible” So I blew a gasket and started packing my office. I didn’t even want to work there anymore.

      Then I shoved the photos in the basement for a year. Business started slowing. Then I had that AHA moment. The heck with it…I use this because this is my business.

      The feedback I received was great. Everyone admired my hair, my clothes, etc. Of course they could not convince me!

      More honesty here lol.

      The point is, that day was a turning point. When I had to do videos, I thought of that day and had the mindset that this is my business…not me! It helped an awful lot. Now I can get in front of the camera, with no make up and not care. My business is more important than my hairstyle. If people don’t like it…. who cares! That’s my attitude now.
      So you got me to reveal another secret ha ha ha
      Donna
      Donna Merrill recently posted..Fear – Don’t Let It Stop YouMy Profile

  15. Stevie Smith May 23, 2012 at 9:08 am #

    Nice post, reminds me of a quote from Martin Luther King, which says ”
    Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.”

    and the good old Latin proverb of “Fortune favors the brave”

    Indeed, nothing will happen to you if you’re afraid to take your chances. Life is about taking chances, in the end, there’s really no such thing as failure, only lesson learned.
    Stevie Smith recently posted..Move Away Google, There is A New Kid In Town: Social Media Search EngineMy Profile

    • Donna Merrill
      Twitter:
      May 29, 2012 at 1:33 am #

      Love that quote Steve!
      Taking that first step makes a world of difference! When we look at that whole staircase, we rather take the elevator lol!
      Seriously, one step at a time will get you going over any fear.
      Thanks for your awesome input,
      Donna
      Donna Merrill recently posted..ProcrastinationMy Profile

  16. Raena Lynn May 24, 2012 at 12:35 am #

    Hi Donna,

    What an incredible post! You encouraged others to reveal their fears because you were brave enough to reveal yours. This post came at the right time for me. Today I was really searching my soul and thinking about the direction I am taking. Recently I took a huge leap of faith and moved from California to Idaho. I moved by myself with my little chihuahua and left everything behind. I left a world of raising my girls, who are now both in college, to pursuing my dreams.

    It was very scary and I had such a great fear of doing it that I waited a long time before taking the plunge. I’m with you, I had a fear of moving, packing, etc. Once I did it and got through the hassle of getting resettled, the fear disappeared. So I got over the hard part, but now I am again faced with another decision I must make, and I admit it….fear is holding me back. After reading all of the comments on this post, I feel stronger and more inspired and I think I am going to face my fear and do what I know deep down what I must do. This decision entails taking a huge risk, so this post brought me to a realization that risk is one of my fears! Being entrepreneurial means being willing to take risks…so here I go!

    As to your fears, I’ve done webinars, and they are quite fun, but I understand your feelings because they seemed scary at first because you are dealing with the unknown. Donna, if you do your first one, you will find out what a fantastic connection tool they are! I would suggest pairing up with someone and that will reduce the stress.

    There was an extensive conversation about speaking in front of crowds, so I’m not going to say much about it except, it is one of those things that take practice. Do it once, and repeat. It gets easier and easier the more you do it. I am a teacher, and I have been in front of so many classes and groups, I got over the fear a long time ago. In college I participated in Toastmasters to help reduce the fear. The point is as I stated earlier, you have to “face your fear,” although an old cliche, it is so true and the only way to get through it.

    Donna you are so incredible and authentic. I love your blog and I really loved this post!

    Raena Lynn

    • Donna Merrill
      Twitter:
      May 29, 2012 at 1:44 am #

      Absolutely Reana

      We do have to face our fears! Look at you, moving is one of the top “stressors” one can do, even if it is a good thing. Moving is a total change of life. And you DID IT! Horaay!!!

      I think it is natural to fear what we have never done before, and the only thing we can do is to just do it.

      It happens to me all the time in different parts of the business. You know how quickly the internet market changes. I do have to keep up with it all.

      So there is always a learning curve. That’s what excites me! I will do that webinar!

      Thanks,
      Donna
      Donna Merrill recently posted..ProcrastinationMy Profile

  17. Shimari May 25, 2012 at 4:58 pm #

    Hi Donna,
    I enjoyed reading your reflection on fear, and did my own reflection along the way.
    In examining my fears (that with which I am not comfortable), I decided that I don’t have to be a master of everything. If I am not comfortable with something, I leave it alone. Is it necessary to put yourself through the trauma of grappling with something with which one is uncomfortable? I don’t see it as fear. I see it as wisdom. Do it only if you have to. Until then leave well alone.
    It was nice being here on your blog, and I’ll be back.
    Cheers to your success.

    • Donna Merrill
      Twitter:
      May 29, 2012 at 1:47 am #

      Hi and thank you for visiting.

      It is always a good thing to give ourselves a “fear” check up. We can decide what we want to overcome and what we want to leave alone. I am glad that you decided that you don’t have to be master of everything. That will prevent overwhelm.

      I would leave anything alone that would give me “trauma” just overcome things that are uncomfortable.

      Cheers.
      Donna
      Donna Merrill recently posted..ProcrastinationMy Profile

  18. Pj Zafra
    Twitter:
    May 25, 2012 at 5:24 pm #

    Great post Donna! I really loved it and resonated with it as I read on. I’ve got to say I had tons of fears before and I still have today, but I’ve learned how to decrease and suppress them.

    I used to be scared to talk to people I don’t know. lol I was a super introvert. Now, I’m pretty much the complete opposite.

    No matter what, we can’t let something as small as fear stop us. Just like Tony Robbins says “Fear is merely Fantasized Experiences Appearing Real”. 🙂

    Let’s live life to the fullest!

    Great job Donna!

    Have a great Friday and weekend ahead! 🙂

    PJ
    Pj Zafra recently posted..F.O.C.U.S.My Profile

    • Donna Merrill
      Twitter:
      May 29, 2012 at 1:49 am #

      Awesome…I love Tony Robbin’s quote! That is one to write down and post it on the computer! A great reminder to ourselves that fear can be a fantasy appearing real.

      But as we go on in life, if there is a stumbling block, we must face it and carry on.

      Great response!
      Donna
      Donna Merrill recently posted..ProcrastinationMy Profile

  19. Yorinda May 25, 2012 at 11:49 pm #

    Hi Donna,

    thank you for raising the awareness on fear.

    Fears can be very subtle or not even belong to us, since we have taken them from those around us.
    I used to feel intense fear whenever the fire siren would go off. Being born just after the war in Germany I realized that this fear was my mothers, whose apartment was bombed out twice in Berlin.

    Awareness probably is the first step to overcoming our fears and I appreciate that you are helping to raise that awareness.
    Yorinda recently posted..Mirror Mirror an Inspiring Short FilmMy Profile

    • Donna Merrill
      Twitter:
      May 29, 2012 at 2:26 am #

      Hi Yorinda, what an amazing story! Being born just after the war in Germany, your mom’s fears did transpose to you. After all, being bombed twice and going through all that would be give anyone PTSD! I am sure those stores were frightening to hear.

      I agree that awareness is the first step to overcoming fear. Once we are aware, we can do something about it.

      I had so many phobias a long time ago, but through the years, I’ve chipped them away by many modalities.

      Thanks sharing that story,
      Donna
      Donna Merrill recently posted..ProcrastinationMy Profile

  20. Beverly Knox May 26, 2012 at 7:29 pm #

    We all let fear grip us in some kind of way, and it can slow us down as a weakness. I have learned that as long as we know we are doing right we shouldn’t be fearful of the outcome of things.We all should just take it one step at a time instead of trying to do it all at once.

    • Beverly Knox May 26, 2012 at 7:35 pm #

      This article/blog was something to actually think about. There are a lot of people who are inquisitive about fear and why we have it if life is suppose be full of joy, but we all know in reality that it’s not that easy.
      Beverly Knox recently posted..IdealsMy Profile

      • Donna Merrill
        Twitter:
        May 29, 2012 at 2:22 am #

        Hi Beverly,
        I think we all want a life full of joy, but that is not reality. Life is a complex thing. When it comes to our fears, we need to bring it out.

        I like your first response when you said that we cannot let fear “grip” us. That’s the red flag that we need to do something about it.

        Thanks for visiting,

        Donna
        Donna Merrill recently posted..ProcrastinationMy Profile

  21. Danijela May 28, 2012 at 4:06 pm #

    Hello Donna,
    this is my first time here, and I have to admit that this sounds really interesting. I think that list is not a bad idea at all. It surely can help us to improve some things. Or at least to try to do so. I like it!
    Danijela recently posted..How to Make a LatteMy Profile

  22. Dee Ann Rice
    Twitter:
    May 28, 2012 at 11:36 pm #

    Donna,

    My fears? I have a lot of fears but they do not seem to be like other peoples. I have no fear of doing a webinar, talking in front of people or most things having to do with talking to a large number of people at once.

    One of my biggest fears that I have faced is putting my thoughts into writing and letting other people actually read what I wrote.

    I also have a fear of participating in Give Aways. I have no idea why except it is something completely foreign to me and I have never done it before.

    I have a fear of talking to individuals.

    I also have a fear of being over loaded and not being able to deliver what I have promised to when I have promised to.

    I have conquered writing and am still working on the other 3.

    I am sure I have more fears if I stop and think about it longer but I can only work on so many at a time. These are the ones I am working on at this time.

    Great post on fears.

    Dee Ann
    Dee Ann Rice recently posted..Google PageRank – How To Rank!My Profile

    • Donna Merrill
      Twitter:
      May 29, 2012 at 2:42 am #

      Hi Dee Anne
      Thank you for your honesty and participation. I said it before and I’ll say it again: The most famous people will tell you they do get sick before talking in front of people. I think it is the most common fear on this post!
      Once you do it, it is easy. When I used to talk in front of people, I just looked over their heads and voila…I was able to talk.

      As for delivering what you promised. I would have that all worked out BEFORE I gave the offer. Do it backwards, It seems to work for me.

      Thank you for sharing
      Donna
      Donna Merrill recently posted..ProcrastinationMy Profile

  23. Martin Casper May 29, 2012 at 4:00 am #

    Donna…
    Fear is such a subjective emotion. Like you, I get fears and almost 100% of the time, they are useless, unfounded time wasters. I love the saying that “worry is like a rocking chair…it gives you something to do, but gets you nowhere”. I think that we could interject the word fear in place of worry. Thanks for sharing and baring your soul…truly authentic you always are!

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