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15 Holiday Blues

This post was most recently updated on February 22nd, 2014

 

Holiday BluesAs lots of folks are getting into the holiday season, there are some that get those holiday blues. 

I feel strongly that it is an important issue to consider during this time.  We get messages from everywhere that the holiday season is supposed to be a blissful time.  And for some it is.  But what happens when you slip into the Holiday Blues?

The following are reasons why you might feel this way… and please know that you are Not Alone:

 

 

1.  Loss of a loved one.  
2.  Loss of your job, or there isn’t money like there used to be.
3.  Memories.  Sometimes memories are good or not so good.  They can be neuro-linked  to this time of year.
4.  Things are not what they used to be.  
5.  I cannot keep up with my usual traditions.
6.  I don’t have a partner to share the holidays with.
7.  I am supposed to be happy.
8.  I am stressed because I have to travel.
9.  There is no time to do my holiday shopping.  I’ll never get it all done.
10. I should be visiting ______ (fill in the blank)
11. Everyone is joyous while the music is playing… everyone except me.
12. I am alone.
13. I am hosting so many people, I just cannot handle it.
14. I have to spend time with my family and they drink too much.  I feel scared.
15. I feel so depressed.

If you resonate with one of these feelings, here are some things to think about.

If you have lost a loved one, whether it was recently or years ago, remember, they have gone to a better place.  You can construct a make-shift memorial to them.  Light a candle in front of their picture.  Keep in mind not to spiral down if you had words left unsaid before their passing.  You can write a letter or even say things out loud.  You can find some way to honor them.  Meanwhile, know that some day you will be together.

Loss of a job or having less money this time of year can get to you, but if it is any comfort, know that many people are in the same boat.  You can create hand made gifts.  Heck, I’d rather have home made cookies than a new shirt!  It is a gift of love and kindness, then it will be  unique and special.  Take pride in what you can make with your own two hands.

Memories can creep up on you.  This time of year does bring back memories.  Maybe you are expecting it to be like your greatest memory of the season.  Maybe those memories are painful.  Whatever it is, know that it is only a memory.  Do not let it take over your thinking patterns.  Instead, let it go if it persists in your mind.  Today is the day you create something special that will create a new memory.  Do something out of the box.  Be original!   Personally, my memories of this time of year can be painful.  Last year I purchased a tacky retro white Christmas tree and decorated it with all pink decorations.  The family just shook their head, but I created my own joy!

When you think that things are not what they used to be and get melancholy about it, remind yourself that those things are the past.  Perhaps they are not what they used to be.  You may have experienced joy as a child, but you are all grown up.  You can always count on one thing and that is change. So think about that, and focus on the present instead of the past.

I cannot keep up with my usual traditions.  Hey, neither can I.  So what if you can’t – make new ones.  Whatever the traditions may be, your situation may have changed.  So don’t fight it.  It is like walking in water.  Go with the flow and create something that makes you happy.  Do it in a different way.

I don’t have a partner to share the holidays with.  Oh boy, that’s a biggie.  You hear the songs, the movies are all about cheer and love and magic. If you don’t have a partner and are feeling blue, just think of how many have partners that are dysfunctional. They may be in a bad relationship and this season only heightens bad behavior.   Consider yourself lucky and in time know you will find the “right” partner for you.

If you are stressed about holiday shopping and/or travel, or even hosting people, just take it one step at a time.  Start early to prevent last minute cramming.  Look at that list of things you have to do and do them a little at a time.  Checking off a list is a great feeling.

If you are feeling alone, or feeling depressed, it is pretty much normal this time of year.  This is the time of year where more people are depressed and feel alone.  There is so much help out there, like counseling and support groups where people have gone through the same feelings as you.  Reach out, they are there for you.

If you have to spend time with your family and there is an addictive person or persons in the crowd, you may feel uncomfortable or even sick.  You can change your plans and do something else.  You can cut your time short.  But whatever you do, keep a check on your coping mechanisms.  Remember, it is their problem not yours.  You do not need to be a victim of unacceptable behavior.  You have that right as a human being.  

Best wishes,
Donna

Donna Merrill
Donna is a well known blogger and creator of "Blogging Magic" - an intensive guide to blogging. "Blogging Magic" is for beginners who are trying to figure out how to bring their blogs to life with tons of visits, comments and social media interaction. It's even for advanced bloggers looking to reach new levels of authority and engagement with their audience.

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41 Responses to 15 Holiday Blues

  1. Nile November 25, 2012 at 6:40 am #

    One of the things for me is being away from long time friends. I grew up a military brat and so when my family moved, I had to make new friends and somehow try to keep in touch with the old ones. I have a few here and there about the country, but I miss them during the holidays as we use to have a lot of cool activities to do together.

    This year, I am trying to spend a the holidays without a boyfriend for the first time in 4 years… and it is tough, but I have my son, and that has seemed to be enough for me.

    If you feel down… feel free to chat with me anytime. Oh, and I do Christmas card exchanges… if you do too… might want to let me know and we can exchange cards. 🙂
    Nile recently posted..Graphic: Blogging Is Not A Glamorous JobMy Profile

    • Donna.Merrill
      Twitter:
      November 25, 2012 at 4:38 pm #

      Hi Nile,

      Our kids always seem to get us through. We focus our attention on them and make Christmas magical no matter how old they are.

      The first Christmas without a boyfriend? Oh boy I could suggest so many fun things to do about that one lol. But I am sure that you will have a joyous season.

      You still do Christmas cards? I thought that was a lost art. That is so wonderful. Since email came around, and then Facebook, I haven’t done snail mail for years!

      I was just talking about Christmas cards and how it “used to be” – Keep that tradition going girl!

      Donna
      Donna.Merrill recently posted..15 Holiday BluesMy Profile

  2. Sadie-Michaela Harris November 24, 2012 at 8:53 pm #

    Oh yes Donna! I would fall in to the Bah Humbug category. I’m not a follower of religion and I see those that do celebrate Christmas for the most part as doing so in gift buying and not church going. I think you have offered some really good advice though here kind of coping mechanisms for those who may find themselves caught up in it all unwillingly! For many people the holiday are their most said times. 🙂
    Sadie-Michaela Harris recently posted..Oooh la la I Deleted Our Company Mobile Website in ErrorMy Profile

    • Donna.Merrill
      Twitter:
      November 24, 2012 at 10:38 pm #

      Hi Sadie

      Oh yea…these coping mechanisms will help those who get caught up in all the thing they “should” be doing during this season.

      When a all you hear is holiday music, holiday TV shows of how wonderful things are supposed to be, it is enough to depress anyone lol.

      Thanks for stopping by,

      Donna
      Donna.Merrill recently posted..15 Holiday BluesMy Profile

  3. Carolyn
    Twitter:
    November 24, 2012 at 8:29 pm #

    Hi Donna, Great points. The holidays are a bit like drinking alcohol. They intensify your mood. If you’re happy heading into the holidays, then you’re probably going to be good. But if you are down because of one of the factors you mentioned, then the holidays will be miserable.

    I’ve had it both ways and luckily this will be one of the good times (unless there is some unforseen event in my near future).

    I really liked how you not only listed the issues, but you offered solutions as well. This is an important post that will help many, Donna. Thanks for sharing this with us.
    Carolyn recently posted..Which Tablet is Right for You?My Profile

    • Donna.Merrill
      Twitter:
      November 24, 2012 at 10:11 pm #

      Hi Carolyn,

      Every year, I deal with some of these issues with my clients. Not only during the holiday season, but especially afterward. Real down and out blues from things that did not meet their expectations. When January rolls around, I am on the phone constantly.

      Phew….I’ve been doing this for years (helping people that is) and these are some of the few scenarios.

      For me, I have created boundaries. Not an easy thing to do, but at least I can enjoy this season.

      Donna
      Donna.Merrill recently posted..15 Holiday BluesMy Profile

  4. nick catricala November 24, 2012 at 8:04 pm #

    Hey Donna, how in the world did you know all thse concern me? are you a psychic? Just kidding Donna… but it could be and as you rightly say, some of them can apply and some of them will not but some of us may be touched by some in a way or another and yoru 100% correct.

    Not many can escape the trap (as you experienced last year with your white tress decorated in pink.

    I must say that some of them are hunting be by memory, but I know I will be strong (again) and will move on and create new memories that will replace many of teh past… I will create them or some how will be created by others.. the choice will remain in my hands and as for now I know I will create my own in my own way and in the way that will be positive in every way.

    Thanks for taking time to share so much information with al of us, I know many will benefit and that is wonderful.

    All the best in every way.
    nickc
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    • Donna.Merrill
      Twitter:
      November 24, 2012 at 10:02 pm #

      Thank you Nick!

      Like you, I create as I go along. I like to be around the positive and I do. Especially children and of course my little dogs.

      For some of us it is so easy to get out of that self-absorbed rut and go on to enjoy. But for others, it is a very hard thing to do.

      Donna
      Donna.Merrill recently posted..15 Holiday BluesMy Profile

  5. Yorinda November 24, 2012 at 5:18 pm #

    Hi Donna,

    you are giving some great suggestions on how to cope with the different scenarios.

    The last few years I have asked myself ‘what is Christmas all about?’ and the main answer for me was Love and Peace.

    In regards to presents I think ‘it is the thought that counts’.
    What energy does a present carry when we found it financially or otherwise stressful to give?

    Thank you for the great post!
    Love and Light
    Yorinda
    Yorinda recently posted..Sole Water and Salt A higher form of EnergyMy Profile

    • Donna.Merrill
      Twitter:
      November 24, 2012 at 9:35 pm #

      Yes Yorinda,

      It is all about Peace and Love. Unfortunately, some folks get caught up in their own problems. If we can keep stressing the reason for the season, I feel there will be more peaceful souls out there!

      Donna
      Donna.Merrill recently posted..15 Holiday BluesMy Profile

  6. Clint Butler November 23, 2012 at 5:19 pm #

    “When you think that things are not what they used to be” This is the one that really is affecting me these days. As my kids get older I remember them running around and all excited about the holidays and the surprises that they bring. As my oldest son is moving on in his life and trying to figure out his future. And my youngest is almost at the same point there brings a bit of sadness. When I know its time to let them go and be their own men. I can only hope that my wife and I (more my wife) have done what we needed to do to raise two great people into the world.
    Clint Butler recently posted..Lindt Chocolate R.S.V.P. Review – How Fat Will It Make You?My Profile

    • Donna.Merrill
      Twitter:
      November 23, 2012 at 8:22 pm #

      Oh Clint,

      I’m sure from the way you said you are missing the boys, that you have done a great job. That “empty nest” feeling can be a doozy! There are new traditions you and your wife can apply.

      As the kids grow, they tend to move away from us (lots of times) but traditions do change. I know how you feel…been there done that! But the important part is that you and your wife can re-kindle and make things special for yourselves.

      Hey,before you know it, you will be visiting grandchildren lol.

      Donna
      Donna.Merrill recently posted..15 Holiday BluesMy Profile

  7. Ileane November 23, 2012 at 5:03 am #

    Hi Donna, these words are so encouraging. I know the statistics show that during the holiday season the suicide rate tends to rise and one of the reasons is loneliness. I hope your kind words can touch someone who really needs to hear them during this time of year. Thanks so much! I’ll be sure to share this.
    Ileane recently posted..5 Reasons to Start Building Your Email List with AWeberMy Profile

    • Donna.Merrill
      Twitter:
      November 23, 2012 at 8:12 pm #

      Thank you Ileane!

      Yes, many emotions run high during this time because of expectations, feeling alone, etc.

      I wanted to write this because many of my clients are suffering from mild to major depression.

      Donna
      Donna.Merrill recently posted..15 Holiday BluesMy Profile

  8. marquita herald
    Twitter:
    November 23, 2012 at 2:40 am #

    Great tips Donna, and of course well timed. My latest book is all about creating a stress-less Christmas and there’s a big section on being alone – but not lonely during the holidays. One of the tips I especially like has to do with those who have lost a loved one during the year. You mentioned creating some kind of a memorial – there are some really wonderful online services (most are free!) where you can do just that – my favorite includes an option to run a fundraise. So say for instance your loved one died of complications from cancer – you could celebrate their life on your memorial page and people can share their thoughts, even submit photos, and also donate – the funds could go to cancer research in the name of the deceased.
    marquita herald recently posted..The Power of Pen and Paper: Love Letters to StrangersMy Profile

    • Donna.Merrill
      Twitter:
      November 23, 2012 at 8:07 pm #

      Great idea Marty!

      When my Father-in-law died last year it was difficult. We had him home with us in hospice care for several months. At the holiday time we told our family and friends not to purchase us gifts, but to donate to Hospice.

      A great way to feel closer to our loved ones.

      Thanks for your input.

      Donna
      Donna.Merrill recently posted..15 Holiday BluesMy Profile

  9. Steven Hughes November 22, 2012 at 11:57 pm #

    Hi Donna – Today is always tough since the loss of my Father five years ago, but coping has improved with time. I’d venture to guess that a good part of the population deals with at least 1 of the 15. Thanks for your antidotes. They will help readers better get their arms around the issues at hand.

    Best Regards,
    Steve
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    • Donna.Merrill
      Twitter:
      November 25, 2012 at 4:34 pm #

      Hi Steven,

      Loosing a loved one is a biggie! It is time where we gather with our families and that loved one is missed.

      It does take a while for the mourning period. But I’m sure by now, five years later, you are able to talk about all the good stuff he has given to you.

      We keep our dear ones in our hearts, they really never die!

      Donna
      Donna.Merrill recently posted..15 Holiday BluesMy Profile

  10. Anett November 22, 2012 at 12:54 pm #

    I’ve lost my granny at thanksgiving night a couple of years ago, so I’ve got always some sad memories attached to the holidays…

  11. Leslie Denning
    Twitter:
    November 21, 2012 at 10:40 pm #

    Hi Donna. This is a wonderful post. I think that people who enjoy holidays tend to forget that they aren’t happy for everyone.

    I live with a man who had a very tumultuous childhood, and he has always hated holidays. He tolerates my plans and doesn’t raise a fuss, though, so we always had big dinners and company because I wanted it.

    Now I don’t worry about holidays. We try to get together with my daughter and her family on New Year’s, but otherwise we don’t make a big deal.

    There are all kind of ways to deal with holidays. If we can remember what we are celebrating: thankfulness for blessings and gratitude for the birth of Christ and not get caught up in the folderol, I think it makes the holidays more meaningful and less stressful.

    Hope your holidays are wonderful.

    All the best,
    Leslie

    • Donna.Merrill
      Twitter:
      November 23, 2012 at 8:01 pm #

      Hi Leslie,

      When we forget what exactly we are celebrating and give in to commercialism, things tend to get hectic. Thanksgiving is a reminder to give thanks, but I personally do that each day so it’s not a biggie for me, just a reason for people getting together.

      When it comes to the Christmas holidays, I, being a religious person get more joy in the true meaning of it than anything else. I love midnight mass and celebrating the birth of Christ.

      But traditions come into play. I have broken many of them since the kids got older. It is a more peaceful holiday for us. When people ask our plans, we honestly don’t know. We love going with the flow and love to work at the Salvation Army, celebrating the joy of giving.

      Donna
      Donna.Merrill recently posted..15 Holiday BluesMy Profile

  12. Carol Lynn November 21, 2012 at 11:36 am #

    Donna, this really touches a nerve because I have felt every one of those at some point. I think part of the problem is that there are so many expectations around the holidays. We feel like we should be doing something, need to be doing something, want to be doing something because everyone else is doing it. There is a lot of pressure to do the holiday season “right”, whether that’s by tradition or some other expectation. We put a lot of pressure on ourselves to do/feel/be certain things and then feel guilty or upset when reality doesn’t match up.

    One of the ways I have tried to deal with all of that is to just accept it for what it is and not conform to what I “think” other people expect of me. I don’t HAVE to host big elaborate dinners. I don’t HAVE to buy big, fancy gifts. Heck, I don’t even have to put up a tree (and for many years I haven’t). It’s a lot of self-inflicted pressure and turns out to be not as enjoyable, and then we get all disappointed and just feel worse.

    Sometimes on Christmas, my husband and I stay home and then go to the movies and eat burgers for dinner. Forget the trimmings and the big deal and the family things. You know what, when I want to see my family, I have them over on January 5th! Doesn’t mater the date. What matters is that we are doing the things we enjoy that fulfill us and spending time with people who matter regardless of what we think we’re “supposed” to do.

    I could actually relate to what Sylviane said, about having great Christmases as a kid. Everything was perfect and then family members started to pass away, kids grew up, people moved and things just happened. For a while it was really hard to deal with another year that just wasn’t going to be like that anymore. But things change no matter what, not just for the holidays, so accepting it for what it is – not what you want it to be or expect it to be – goes a long way to helping heal. It’s not easy and I don’t think you ever really feel like that happy kid again, but at least maybe you can enjoy the moment.

    Thanks for sharing this topic, I think everybody can relate.
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    • Donna.Merrill
      Twitter:
      November 23, 2012 at 3:58 pm #

      Absolutely Carol Lynn,

      Each one is a problem for some people. Some have all 15 Yikes. I like the way you are handling your holidays.

      To me a veggie burger with hubby sounds great. This year all of my husband’s side of the family are flying cross country to be together. That sounds nice, BUT…I don’t travel during holidays because of the holiday rush and to be with a crowd of people limits me to engage with each person. It’s like a mob scene he he he.

      Instead, we will spend time with every one little by little as we usually do, but as for the kids in California…I would do a springtime visit where there will be less of a chance of delays due to bad weather.

      Now many have feelings and emotions about it. But, honesty is the best policy isn’t it?

      Love your comment,
      Dona
      Donna.Merrill recently posted..15 Holiday BluesMy Profile

  13. Harleena Singh
    Twitter:
    November 20, 2012 at 2:01 pm #

    Loved the ‘blues’ Donna!

    You are so right about the holiday blues so many people undergo, more so if the holidays are really long ones. At our end, we really don’t have very long holidays, though even the ones we have spread over 5-6 days are enjoyable ones. I guess our state of mind is what matters most in such cases too – isn’t it?

    However, I agree that if I have to cook and call people over when I would rather want to relax myself, it becomes too much for me too. 🙂

    If you are wanting a break or get-away from work, you would look forward to the holidays to be with your family and friends, while those who really love their work or miss their normal routine might have such holiday blues. But yes, I’ve a few friends in the U.S. who are lonely and rather sad during this season because they have either lost their partners or divorced them. I would be forwarding your post to them as it might help them a great deal.

    Thanks for sharing. 🙂
    Harleena Singh recently posted..How to Be Grateful Every Single DayMy Profile

    • Donna.Merrill
      Twitter:
      November 20, 2012 at 7:30 pm #

      That is awesome Harleena!

      Here, the suicide rate runs high during the holidays. It is the “expectations” that people have. Also the many that suffer mental illnesses.

      It is the highest suicide time of the year in this country. That being said, my favorite thing to do other than being with family and friends, is to volunteer for the needy.

      The first time I did it, I was shocked at the amount of people that didn’t have food for the holiday. The Salvation Army in my area prepares a wonderful holiday dinner. All with cloth table cloths, napkins, silverware and beautiful centerpieces. The local chefs offer their time to make fabulous meals.

      My husband and I decorated for the event. We turned a drab room into a room fit for a king! As the people came in, we had toys for the children. It is my favorite thing to do at the holidays.

      Also, it is very cold in New York, so during this time of year, it is fun to purchase wholesale gloves and just ride around New York City handing them out to the homeless.

      To me, it is the reason for the season.

      Donna
      Donna.Merrill recently posted..15 Holiday BluesMy Profile

      • Harleena Singh
        Twitter:
        November 20, 2012 at 9:46 pm #

        Sounds amazing that people get depressed and so down, especially during the holidays, though am sure they might be having their reasons for it. Yes, I did read about the suicide rates being the highest this time of the year, and all mainly because of high expectations people have!

        You’re surely doing a wonderful job of giving your time and effort for Thanksgiving, which is the real way to celebrate it by helping to volunteer and do your best. I think anything done with a grateful heart is what will really bring you real peace and joy within.

        Thanks once again. 🙂
        Harleena Singh recently posted..How to Be Grateful Every Single DayMy Profile

        • Donna.Merrill
          Twitter:
          November 20, 2012 at 11:12 pm #

          Thank you for you kind words Harleena.

          It is difficult to imagine if you are not in the U.S. how crazy things can get. The commercialism is so annoying. The expectations of many are high.

          The traditions are mainly for children, but it has gotten so out of control. I just can’t figure that part out myself.

          But I’m here to catch ones that fall.

          Donna
          Donna.Merrill recently posted..15 Holiday BluesMy Profile

  14. Sue Price
    Twitter:
    November 19, 2012 at 7:07 pm #

    Hi Donna

    This is such a good message for many people right now. I know I struggle with some of the things you have mentioned.

    This will be my first Christmas without my beloved dog of almost 17 years. My Dad has dementia and both he and Mom are not doing so well. Our kids are spread around Australia and so it goes on.

    I make sure I concentrate on what is now and the things I am blessed to have. Like a wonderful husband who is also my best friend. We are together. I live in a great part of the world and I am healthy.

    One thing I do not like is the pressure many people feel to spend money. I like Adrienne’s comment on that one.

    A great message thanks Donna. Have a great week.

    Sue
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    • Donna.Merrill
      Twitter:
      November 19, 2012 at 10:46 pm #

      Hi Sue,

      Oh that money thing! So many put pressure on that. How can anyone put a price on a gift? I rather have something from the heart than a diamond ring.

      My husband and I have a tradition. We don’t buy each other gifts. Heck, I have all that I need and so does he. What we do is find someone that needs something. It all started when my daughter’s friend had no coat. He didn’t complain, but we knew he was too poor to have one. So we went out and purchased the Latest Fashion there was and put it on his doorstep. Rang the bell and ran away. The card said “from Santa”….He was gleeming when he had the best coat of all his friends.

      From then on we use the “giving tree” at our church. People put things they want on it. We purchase it and put it under the tree. No one ever knows who each other is, but that is our gift to each other.

      It is so much fun!

      Donna
      Donna.Merrill recently posted..15 Holiday BluesMy Profile

  15. Sylviane Nuccio
    Twitter:
    November 19, 2012 at 6:48 pm #

    Hi Donna,

    I used to have dream-like Christmas when I was a child, so when I grew older I could only get sad about the “dream” being gone. Then our gathering numbers went down too and that really made me sad.

    I went through a very long period (years) of not wanting to hear about the Holidays and wanted them passed and over with.

    But now I’m OK again with them and actually enjoy them no matter if I spend them with friends and family or not. I usually take advantage of the Holidays to make fine expensive food, and drink just a bit more than I should 🙂 I love it!

    Thank you for this help for people who are getting a bit depressed during the Holidays!
    Sylviane Nuccio recently posted..Paint A Picture With Your Writing – 5 Easy Steps To FollowMy Profile

    • Donna.Merrill
      Twitter:
      November 19, 2012 at 10:41 pm #

      I grew up with a very large family too Sylviane,

      There used to be about 60 people at any given holiday, but now they are mostly all gone. They live in my heart and I used to get a little “down” because I missed that big fanfare.

      So I created one when my daughter was in high school. I made a new tradition to have an open house. I cooked so many different kinds of things and anyone in the neighborhood was welcomed.

      The funny thing is, there were so many kids that came to our home. Some didn’t have a celebration, some had parents that were addicted, and some were so called “thugs” – children with a hard exterior, but a kind heart.

      They all ate, no drinking alcohol of course, and I had presents for each and every one of them….God bless the dollar store!

      These kids still keep in touch with me telling me their fondest memories were at our home.

      If all else fails, Make Magic!

      Donna
      Donna.Merrill recently posted..15 Holiday BluesMy Profile

  16. Barbara Charles
    Twitter:
    November 19, 2012 at 5:45 pm #

    Hi Donna,
    Yes some of these feelings and emotions are definitely with me this year. Lost my dad in July and this will be our first Christmas without him. A biggie for all of us. But it’f funny you mentioned honoring lost ones because that’s just what I did and have been meaning to do a blog on it. Thanks for reminding us to remember the positive despite the so-called negatives in our lives, especially at this time of year. God Bless You for keeping us sane and on track! 🙂
    Much love,
    Barbara
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    • Donna.Merrill
      Twitter:
      November 19, 2012 at 10:37 pm #

      Hi Barbara,

      Sorry about your dad. It is difficult on the holidays when we loose a loved one so close…just a few months. We can blog on and keep on going, but part of the mourning is to address the issue. A few tears are ok.

      Also honor his life! Talk to your kids about some good memories of him and before you know it, you will start laughing. It is like keeping a part of him alive!

      Donna
      Donna.Merrill recently posted..15 Holiday BluesMy Profile

  17. Adrienne
    Twitter:
    November 19, 2012 at 3:46 pm #

    You know Donna, a lot of times we live in our own little world. Like for me, I’m as happy as can be. Even when I started working at home and didn’t have the money to spend at Christmas, I just told my friends and family that I was sorry but no presents for them this year from me. That actually happened like three years in a row. Hey, when money is tight it’s tight. Nothing to be ashamed of. It’s the holidays mostly about family and friends?

    I can’t imagine some of the problems other people have. You definitely have a long list there and I do have some friends that have no family anymore. Their parents have passed on and they have no siblings. I know that someday I’ll experience the loss of my Mom but for now I’m enjoying her company while I can.

    Thank you for reminding us that we all aren’t as happy as can be all the time and especially around the holidays. I hope more people though can just be thankful for what they do have.

    Enjoy your week young lady and have a great Thanksgiving.

    ~Adrienne
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    • Donna.Merrill
      Twitter:
      November 19, 2012 at 10:35 pm #

      Hi Adrienne,

      I mainly wrote this because there are so many unforgotten people that have problems. When the holidays roll around the emotions run higher. Imagine if you had those great memories of your child hood then were left alone, with no one, not even an internet friend.

      I know there are so many positive things to do, but some people are unaware that they can make a difficult time a pleasurable one.

      Donna
      Donna.Merrill recently posted..15 Holiday BluesMy Profile

  18. Jackie November 19, 2012 at 12:40 pm #

    I like the last point… you can say no, or cut your time short. This is something I’m facing this year… it’s hard but possible.

    • Donna.Merrill
      Twitter:
      November 23, 2012 at 3:46 pm #

      Yes Jackie,

      That is something I had learned to do a long time ago, when with family I used to cut my time short. Then It went down to one hour (after traveling 5 hours to get there lol) One day, as I watched the clock as drama went on, I only lasted 40 minutes…..Oh Well lol

      Dona
      Donna.Merrill recently posted..15 Holiday BluesMy Profile

  19. Raena Lynn November 19, 2012 at 12:22 pm #

    Hi Donna,

    Yes, the holiday season is upon us. As I read through your list, the one that resonated the most for me was #4 “Things are not what they used to be.” Last year was my first holiday season without family. I moved out of state with the intention of being closer to my oldest daughter, which I am, however the “splintered family syndrome” was very apparent. I think many people can relate. It’s when your children grow up and leave the home. Thankfully both of mine are in college, and I am very proud of them.

    I made the best of it and actually focused on the joy of the holidays. I am in a completely different environment. I thought I would get depressed the first year, but I kept a positive attitude. I was able to spend one day with my oldest daughter for a Christmas dinner and loved it! On the flip side, I didn’t have a lot of the stresses which come with the holidays because of the change of my family dynamics. Everything has become “simplified” and I like the freedom. This year, the thought of “holiday blues” had not entered my mind.

    Most of the stresses surrounding the holiday season revolves around money and I’ve shifted away from the commercialism. The gifts and food are fun, I admit, but the holidays to me are about my relationship to my family and friends. I prefer homemade gifts anytime. For those of you who are with your families, enjoy it when you can because life is change, big time. It’s a peaceful feeling when being together is enough. In my family, although located in different parts of the country, it is enough for all of us!

    I don’t have a partner to share the holidays, but you are right about converting any lonely feelings to being lucky. No bad relationships allowed! I’ve heard the concept of being alone and being lonely. There is a huge difference. I have come to a point that it is very rare for me to feel lonely. I am alone, but I don’t mind. It has it’s advantages. I make the best of it. As to a partner, well…we shall see if you are right Donna! You will be the first to know..haha

    Your post is a nudge for people to start being aware that many of the emotions and stresses you listed may surface. They will become a reality for some people. They need to take heed to your very good tips to help get through the holiday blues! Lending a helping hand to others during this time is a great way to take the focus off yourself. My youngest daughter said she will be serving Thanksgiving dinner to the needy this year. It’s a time to be grateful and giving. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving! I’m sooooo excited because I can BE with my daughter:)

    Raena Lynn

    PS Sorry this is so long! I could create a post about it! LOL
    Raena Lynn recently posted..How To Become A Millionaire From ScratchMy Profile

    • Donna.Merrill
      Twitter:
      November 19, 2012 at 2:56 pm #

      Hi Raena,

      So grateful that you shared so much in your comment. Yes, there is a difference between being alone and being lonely. The times I was alone, I was happy, but I can remember being lonely in a bad relationship. Yuck!

      As we grow, and our kids scatter to different places, we come up with new traditions. I’m the go with the flow kinda gal. I never like doing the same thing over and over again. For some people it is important and when things aren’t in place, they get depressed.

      I have had many calls already from my clients dealing with a few of the issues above and I am helping them to find happiness and peace. The holiday season is a busy one for me because my clients are feeling depressed or frustrated.

      It is a time where like you have mentioned to take the focus off yourself. That I have always done because I rather give than to receive.
      My husband, I and my daughter will be together on Christmas serving the hungry. It doesn’t get better than that!

      Donna
      Donna.Merrill recently posted..15 Holiday BluesMy Profile

  20. Mayura
    Twitter:
    November 19, 2012 at 9:25 am #

    Hi Donna,

    Whoosh… Ha… Ha… I’m happy as always dear 😉

    Well, it’s not my time for holidays, but celebrating with my Christian friends. It’s true, for some, these could be things to consider though it’s gonna be celebrations everywhere.

    People always have to live with ’em and move on. There are ups and downs no matter what time of year, right? 🙂

    It’s always better if we can give helping hand if we know someone like that. In my country, December is not a good month to remember as few years ago a Tsunami attacked us and there were lot of victims. But helping ’em and giving them hope is best we can do here though they miss loved ones. It’s life, no? 🙂

    As I read, I wondered why you selected this topic. Well, get ready for holidays Donna 🙂

    Cheers…
    Mayura recently posted..Why Link or URL Preview Not Working on Facebook?My Profile

    • Donna.Merrill
      Twitter:
      November 19, 2012 at 2:42 pm #

      Hi Mayura,

      I selected this topic because I have many clients that I counsel year after year that get the Holiday Blues. Here in the U.S. even those who are not Christian, celebrate Thanksgiving and a month later Christmas with their friends.

      It became tradition. And with tradition, things always change. I have received a lot of calls already from those that are feeling alone, or frustrated.

      That’s why I wrote it!

      Donna
      Donna.Merrill recently posted..15 Holiday BluesMy Profile

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