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Is It Crazy To Talk To Yourself?

This post was most recently updated on January 17th, 2013

Talk To Yourserlf

My mother used to walk me quickly through the subway station so I wouldn’t be exposed to the “crazy” people talking to themselves.  

Get on the D-train, but they were still there.  She’d move our seat. Get a transfer uptown, get out and walk past the UN building, or Albert Einstein Medical Center.  It made no difference.  They were everywhere.  My father would scold us. “Just stay home… why do you want to go around all those crazy people that talk to themselves.”

I used to be scared of people who talk to themselves.  This was way before the blue-tooth that gave it social credence, and actually made it rather elite to talk to yourself.

Fast forward.

I’ve had a successful psychic consulting practice for many years, now.

People come to me with all sorts of situations, problems, hurdles to jump and doorways to enter.

I realize, one of the best pieces of advice I often fall back on is… “talk to yourself”.

Is Angela Crazy?  (Case Study)

“Angela” was beside herself… figuratively 🙂

Angela:
“Why won’t ‘Eric’ return my calls?  It’s been 2 weeks!  Did I blow it with him?  I can’t live without him.”

Me:
“Well, first of all, Angela, let’s not forget that Eric’s been married for 13 years and has two kids.  (duhh).  It’s not likely that this is a great path to be on if you want a serious relationship.”

Angela:
“But I can’t get over him.  I just can’t get past this.”

Me:
“I see you’ve been talking to yourself.”

Angela:
“You think I’m crazy?”

Me:
“To the contrary, you’re as ‘normal’ as anyone… that’s the problem.  You see, everyone talks to themselves.  The ‘normal’ folks don’t realize it, is all.  The ‘crazy’ people know they’re talking to themselves, but they do it intentionally.  So who’s crazy?”

“You see Angela, you’ve been talking to yourself for a long time: ‘I can’t live without Eric,’ ‘He’ll leave his wife for me,’ ‘I’ll never be happy until I get Eric.'”

“Now, you’re in a position where you can’t live (happily) without Eric.  I mean you CAN, but you’ve talked yourself into being totally convinced you can’t, to a point where, guess what… you can’t!”

Angela:
“So what do I do? Tell me what to do!”

Me:
“Do what you’ve been doing.  Talk to yourself.  But be aware that you’re talking to yourself, and know that if you just change the conversation, your life will change IN THE DIRECTION YOU CHOOSE.”

Angela:
“What should I say?”

Me:
“It’s not a matter of what you ‘should’ say, it’s a matter of what you want to say.  Remember, when you talk to yourself you’re officially ‘crazy’ in the eyes of many folks.  So, let go.  Say what you want.  Be daring.  Be ridiculous.  Be extravagant.  Maybe something really wild like ‘I deserve a lot better than Eric,’ or ‘I am happy just being with myself,’ or ‘I’m beautiful and intelligent and just about any man would drop dead to be with me.'”

The session lasted an hour.

We talked about this in far greater detail.

Angela actually had me develop several audio tracks for her, based on what she wanted to tell herself.  She gave me permission to surrogate my voice for hers.  She listened to it on a schedule that I prescribed for her.

The next time I sat with Angela, she was a different person.  She was vivacious and exciting, she refused to return Eric’s calls, and she was meeting lots of new and exciting people.  Life was good!

Is It Crazy To Talk To Yourself?

It could be just what the psychic ordered!

DISCLAIMER:
I like to introduce my readers to some of my clients as a matter of instruction.  Please note that I never use real names, and I only relate people’s stories after I get their approval.  

Feel free to share this article on your social sites, and drop me a comment below.

I’d love to hear how crazy you think it is to talk to yourself?

Donna Merrill
Donna is a well known blogger and creator of "Blogging Magic" - an intensive guide to blogging. "Blogging Magic" is for beginners who are trying to figure out how to bring their blogs to life with tons of visits, comments and social media interaction. It's even for advanced bloggers looking to reach new levels of authority and engagement with their audience.

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39 Responses to Is It Crazy To Talk To Yourself?

  1. Mary Stephenson
    Twitter:
    January 22, 2013 at 5:54 pm #

    Hi Donna

    I can relate to the crazy people talking to their selves. I actually said awhile back that with today’s cell phones you could really get away with it and no one would think you are crazy. Years ago we would give a wide area between us and people talking to themselves. Today you can stick something in your ear and have a wire going down to your pocket and nobody would be the wiser. How times have changed and now you can seem quite normal.

    But alas, I have been caught talking to myself out loud and that was not a good thing. Needed to provide an explanation, over worked and thinking out loud!

    Yes, we really need to give ourselves good advice and if we give our minds the right message we can definitely change the outcome.

    Mary
    Mary Stephenson recently posted..Conformity or Do You Stand Alone?My Profile

  2. Steve Vernon January 17, 2013 at 8:12 am #

    Well, what a relief to know I’m not crazy, Donna! LOL!

    Seriously, isn’t it sad that most of the time when we talk to ourselves, it’s usually when we’re scolding ourselves rather than encouraging or building ourselves up (at least that seems to be the case with me).

    I love Eckhart Tolle’s personal story of when we was about to commit suicide. He kept saying, “I just can’t go on living with myself” over and over again until he began to question who “I” was that couldn’t live with “myself” and realized it was his inner (spiritual) self talking to his physical (ego) self. It caused a major inner awakening for him and became the basis of much of his teaching.

    It’s been said that schizophrenics may actually not be crazy, but rather that they may actually be able to perceive a reality (including a real being with whom they are conversing) that we “normal” humans can’t perceive. Who knows.

    Anyway . . . enough rambling. Loved your post, and I think this is an incredibly interesting topic of discussion.

    • Donna.Merrill
      Twitter:
      January 20, 2013 at 5:05 pm #

      Oh boy Steve,

      First I love Eckart Tolle! His books have helped so many of my clients!

      Then you mention schizophrenics. When I was doing an internship with the “criminally insane schizophrenics,” I was also working with parapsychologists doing psychic studies.

      I would get into the room with them, and send out a thought. Unbelievably, one or two would answer.

      To make a very long story short in this reply, the findings were that this group had a different way of conversing. On a psychic level, I found a beautiful world inside them.

      Donna
      Donna.Merrill recently posted..Balancing Act Of An Online EntrepreneurMy Profile

  3. Yorinda January 15, 2013 at 3:57 pm #

    Hi Donna,

    everyone talks to themselves, in their head at least.

    Talking to ourselves consciously, as you suggested to your client, can be very therapeutic.

    I journal everyday and talk on paper to myself and my inner little girl.
    It helps gaining clarity, to find ways to take better care of myself and to find insights.

    Thank you so much for sharing this.
    Love and Light
    Yorinda
    Yorinda recently posted..Imagine if we would choose to BelieveMy Profile

    • Donna.Merrill
      Twitter:
      January 20, 2013 at 4:54 pm #

      Oh Boy Yorinda,

      You hit a very important topic: that inner girl!

      I know that is a difficult one to deal with. Most people refuse to go there when it comes to inner child work because it can be painful.

      But, what is more painful? Being stagnant and letting that inner child keep you from being the best you can be or dealing with it head on and becoming the best you can be?

      Donna
      Donna.Merrill recently posted..Balancing Act Of An Online EntrepreneurMy Profile

  4. Barbara Charles
    Twitter:
    January 14, 2013 at 5:02 pm #

    Hi Donna,This is so wonderful and helpful. I know so many times we talk ourselves into something or out of something that is holding us back in life. This was a perfect case study of how strong our words and thoughts are! Thank you for sharing. Love the case study! Now I need to practice what you preach! :)Barbara
    Barbara Charles recently posted..5 Reasons Why You Should Use Google Hangout?My Profile

    • Donna.Merrill
      Twitter:
      January 20, 2013 at 4:52 pm #

      He He Barbara,

      I still have to practice what I preach! I do catch myself from time to time saying something negative. When I do, I say it over again. It has become a habit of mine.

      Since I’ve been doing this for the past few years, I find that If my mind goes to the negative…I can turn it into a positive.

      This stuff works for me, that’s why I wanted to share it.

      Donna
      Donna.Merrill recently posted..Balancing Act Of An Online EntrepreneurMy Profile

  5. Michael A Buccilli January 14, 2013 at 1:15 am #

    Hello Donna, yes I do talk to myself quite a bit. I think that I began to do this more after I began doing voice-over work. I started to repeat sentences to myself; to see if my thoughts were actually being conveyed correcting in what I was saying aloud.

    Some times talking to myself allows me to determine if I am using some words in the correct way. I, like Sylviane, do try to not do it that much in public because there is still a stigma connected to it. I will admit that I do smile and even laugh a bit to myself if I see someone talking to themselves – I don’t judge them it is just that it looks funny some times to see a mouth moving with no person as the target of the conversation.

    • Donna.Merrill
      Twitter:
      January 20, 2013 at 4:49 pm #

      Hi Michael,

      You said it all when you wrote that Talking to yourself allows you to see if you are using the right words with a stigma connected to it.

      That is the essence of Self Talk. Our words, either out loud or in our thoughts do carry a stigma.

      When we listen to how we are talking to ourselves, we may catch a negative stigma to a word like “should” Ohhh that’s a word that I only wish would leave our vocabulary!

      Positive words can change your mindset.

      Donna
      Donna.Merrill recently posted..Balancing Act Of An Online EntrepreneurMy Profile

  6. Adam Connell January 13, 2013 at 8:24 am #

    Donna, this was a very interesting read.

    I usually only talk to myself when nobody is around to avoid getting strange looks.

    I see plenty of people who don’t have a problem with doing this in public, a few days ago I saw a girl walking down the street listening to her headphones singing – she got a lot of strange looks.

    Saying that, I’d bet that most of the people giving her strange looks go home and talk to themselves.

    Thanks,
    Adam
    Adam Connell recently posted..24 Easy Ways to Build a Targeted Twitter FollowingMy Profile

    • Donna.Merrill
      Twitter:
      January 20, 2013 at 4:44 pm #

      Hi Adam,

      I only talk to myself at home also. Usually I do it when I am working on a new affirmation.

      Whatever the affirmation is, I write it down to see it, say it out loud so I can hear it. And most importantly, say it each day for 30 days. That usually does the trick to override any subconscious thoughts that keep me from slowing down! lol

      Thanks for stopping by,
      Donna
      Donna.Merrill recently posted..Balancing Act Of An Online EntrepreneurMy Profile

  7. Willena Flewelling
    Twitter:
    January 13, 2013 at 5:02 am #

    The older I get, the more I talk to myself to keep myself SANE!! My kids just shake their heads. Hubby would too, only he’s older than I am and talks to himself too!

    You’re absolutely right that we all talk to ourselves, on a totally different level. We need to be aware of what we are telling ourselves, and replace the negative and unprofitable self talk with that which is positive and helpful to our personal growth.

    Thank you for an entertaining and oh so true post!

    Willena

  8. Rick Lelchuk January 12, 2013 at 3:50 pm #

    Donna,

    The chatter is endless. It only goes off when I’m asleep or maybe when I’m watching a movie or reading a book… and then there are ongoing parenthetical comments.

    The people your mom was so scared of are the ones who have their internal dialog on loud speaker.

    And, most importantly, we have total control over what gibberish we tell ourselves, in fact, it’s about the only real thing we do have control over. And, therein lies the secret to mental clarity and sanity.

    Fun post, Donna. Thank.

    RICK
    Rick Lelchuk recently posted..Extraordinary Living Through DisciplineMy Profile

    • Donna.Merrill
      Twitter:
      January 12, 2013 at 8:12 pm #

      You got it Rick!

      We do have control over that gibberish we tell ourselves. It is the one thing we do have control over.

      I see that you have reached mental clarity and sanity, because you know the secret!

      Donna
      Donna.Merrill recently posted..Mastermind GroupsMy Profile

  9. marquita herald
    Twitter:
    January 12, 2013 at 10:31 am #

    Really interesting approach Donna, and of course you are SO right that most people have an ongoing inner dialogue of some kind, though we’re usually not as intune with what we’re saying to ourselves as we probably should be. I’ll definitely have to think about this one for awhile – and try paying closer attention. Thanks!
    marquita herald recently posted..The Secret to Living a Bigger, Bolder LifeMy Profile

    • Donna.Merrill
      Twitter:
      January 12, 2013 at 12:55 pm #

      Hi Marquita,

      I’m sure you do it all the time and correctly I must add! As we talk to ourselves, we need to catch those words we are thinking like should, could of, would have, and such.

      When we think those words, put an international no symbol around them. Refuse to go into that kind of thinking and sure enough, it becomes a habit.

      Donna
      Donna.Merrill recently posted..REVERSING NEGATIVE THOUGHTSMy Profile

  10. nick catricala January 11, 2013 at 5:29 pm #

    Donna,
    so that is what you have been doing all your life, Talk with Yourself Ha??? nice article and well documented to illustrate how we keep on doing what damage us with out knowing… TILL someone who care, (like you) coem along and share with us what is real out there.. the reality is that we all can be who and what ever we want to be… we just have to believe and make certain it is what we want and nOT what others want 🙂 When you say to Angela: “To the contrary, you’re as ‘normal’ as anyone… that’s the problem. You see, everyone talks to themselves. The ‘normal’ folks don’t realize it, is all. The ‘crazy’ people know they’re talking to themselves, but they do it intentionally. So who’s crazy?” I say to my self.. this is a session by inteself.. so true and so clear and so to the point. NO ONE CA MISS it..

    Hope many people read your great artcles so they can learn more of what is best to do in life and create a great and customized lifestyle for teh rest of their life.

    Thanks for sharing yoru wisdom once again Donna…
    all the best.
    nickc
    nick catricala recently posted..Lost DirectionMy Profile

    • Donna.Merrill
      Twitter:
      January 11, 2013 at 11:10 pm #

      Thank you Nick for contributing your great thoughts to my post.

      “Watch what you say” is an old saying. If we are aware what we are saying out when communicating with others and especially to ourselves, we can turn some words around to be positive.

      When I talk to myself about prosperity for example I could say: “I am going to make so much money a month” but instead I say “I AM making so much money a month” I say it in the present so it is already at my disposal in my subconscious. One of the Laws of Attraction! But you know that.

      Thanks again,
      Donna
      Donna.Merrill recently posted..REVERSING NEGATIVE THOUGHTSMy Profile

  11. Robin J Emdon January 11, 2013 at 4:21 pm #

    What I love about the advent of Mobile/Cell phones is all you need if you are still self-conscious about self talk – are some earphones. They don’t even need to be plugged into your phone! No one bats an eyelid these days at people talking to their phone (or themselves! – how would they know?!)
    It’s definitely gotten easier! lol ~Robin~
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  12. Tim Bonner
    Twitter:
    January 11, 2013 at 1:32 pm #

    Hi Donna

    I often find I have a conversation with myself during the day.

    When there’s only me and my two year-old daughter around most of the day I find it happens quite a lot! Not out loud but just I guess having a conversation with my thoughts.

    I don’t think I’m crazy! I haven’t started talking to the dishwasher yet :-).
    Tim Bonner recently posted..Happy New Year EveryoneMy Profile

    • Donna.Merrill
      Twitter:
      January 11, 2013 at 10:52 pm #

      Hi Tim,

      You crack me up. I talk to my dishwasher…my husband he he he!

      We need to be aware of our thoughts, and as long as we talk positively, it is great. When we get stuck in a negative mode, self-talk works well.

      Donna
      Donna.Merrill recently posted..REVERSING NEGATIVE THOUGHTSMy Profile

  13. Kerris Torkington January 11, 2013 at 7:04 am #

    Hi Donna
    We all listen to our inner voices and take notice of what we say to ourselves. That is why it is so important to be saying the right things to ourselves. By changing what we say we can begin to change the way we think.
    Thanks for giving us the permission to talk to ourselves.
    Kerris
    Kerris Torkington recently posted..Go On I Challenge You!My Profile

    • Donna.Merrill
      Twitter:
      January 11, 2013 at 10:50 pm #

      Absolutely Kerris!

      Once we are aware of that, we seem to “catch” ourselves when we are saying something negative about ourselves….” shoulda coulda woulda” dangerous territory!

      Thanks for stopping by,
      Donna
      Donna.Merrill recently posted..REVERSING NEGATIVE THOUGHTSMy Profile

  14. Julieanne van Zyl January 11, 2013 at 3:58 am #

    Hi Donna, this is a great example of how we can change our whole lives around just by talking to ourselves in a different way. If only we remembered that all the time lol! Lucky us, for having you to remind us, thank you Donna!
    Julieanne van Zyl recently posted..10 Reasons For Blog Marketing In Your MLM BusinessMy Profile

    • Donna.Merrill
      Twitter:
      January 11, 2013 at 7:07 pm #

      Thanks Julieanne,

      We can change our lives in so many ways. I always practice what I preach before I blog about it.

      I is only one of the ways we can make our lives better a little at a time.

      Donna
      Donna.Merrill recently posted..REVERSING NEGATIVE THOUGHTSMy Profile

  15. Neamat Tawadrous
    Twitter:
    January 10, 2013 at 10:52 pm #

    Hi Donna,

    I talk to myself all the time and I used to think I am crazy because of that but thanks, your post assured me now that I am not and it is normal and healthy.

    Sometimes when I am alone in my bed room I talk to myself and once my son came in and he asked me: “Mom, are you talking to yourself”. I had to deny it because he would think that his mom is crazy too. LOL.

    I agree that it is very important to be mindful of our language.

    Thanks for sharing this post Donna, I really enjoyed every bit!

    Be Blessed,

    Neamat

    • Donna.Merrill
      Twitter:
      January 11, 2013 at 6:55 pm #

      Hi Neamat!

      Talking to ourselves is known as “self talk” in many different therapies. It is a way to get those negative thoughts away, and convince ourselves to go on to a healthy life.

      Sometimes we can vent and talk it out. That’s great too. Don’t be shy about it. Next time your child walks in, just say that you are figuring things out and making the best possible choice.

      Donna
      Donna.Merrill recently posted..REVERSING NEGATIVE THOUGHTSMy Profile

    • Garen January 11, 2013 at 10:57 pm #

      Hey Donna,

      It’s like people are sheep they just follow you off the cliff. I think we have evolved from sheep some. Yes, incase you are wondering I believe we evolved from sheep.

      I think everyone talks to their animals whether they have cats, dogs, lizard, fish or, kangaroos.
      Garen recently posted..How Will Social Media Influence SEO in 2013My Profile

      • Donna.Merrill
        Twitter:
        January 11, 2013 at 11:16 pm #

        Interesting Garen

        I often look at people as sheep! You have a point there about us evolving from them. It is the way they act!

        I was always the rule-breaker, the odd one. I think I am the black sheep!

        And yes, I do think everyone talks to their animals. If they don’t, they shouldn’t have them in the first place!
        Donna.Merrill recently posted..REVERSING NEGATIVE THOUGHTSMy Profile

  16. Garen January 10, 2013 at 8:53 pm #

    Hey Donna,

    Not in public. But sometimes I talk to my lizards….lol. Sometimes I think they actually understand me. They talk back to me (or at least I had a dream where they did.) You think where you live is bad (on the subway). Come to Kansas City and you’ll find people burned in the brain from PCP. I remember working at a warehouse many years ago. I have never met so many herion, meth, and crack addicts in my life. Grew up in Independence, MO which was the Meth capital of the world at one time.

    I do kind of talk to myself in my head a lot, but I think everyone does that. When I make important decisions I weigh the pros and cons and usually write it down.
    Garen recently posted..RSS Syndication – Get Noticed and Establish Your BlogMy Profile

    • Donna.Merrill
      Twitter:
      January 11, 2013 at 6:53 pm #

      Hi Garen,

      You would be surprised how many people don’t talk things out with themselves. They just “follow the leader” or get into patterns where they just take action on things because that’s what they are “expected” to do.

      Hey, talking to your lizards is great. When I had snakes, I talked to them. I find they are very intuitive. I talk to my dogs, but they are just love balls and not as intuitive.

      Oh boy…That’s a shock about Kansas City. There seems to be no escape from the drug problem across the states. I moved out of NYC and for ten years, it has been great, but now we have a big drug problem here.

      You can run….but you can’t hide!

      Donna
      Donna.Merrill recently posted..REVERSING NEGATIVE THOUGHTSMy Profile

  17. Alyssa January 10, 2013 at 7:36 pm #

    Hi Donna!I always found that it was better for myself if I talked through things rather than ignore them in my mind. I always try to talk to myself about what\’s better for me, no matter what the situation is. I\’m happy that it helped Angela though; this conversation will help me encourage others to think better about what they are thinking, if that makes sense? Anyways, thanks for posting this and have a great week!

  18. Sylviane Nuccio
    Twitter:
    January 10, 2013 at 7:25 pm #

    Hi Donna,

    I love to talk to myself, but not in public 🙂 I don’t like to be stared at. I still have a long way to go with that.

    I talk to myself hundreds of times a day while I repeat my affirmations, do my EFT, and all that stuff. I love it and it’s very health, for those who would be in doubt.

    Thanks for writing on this subject.
    Sylviane Nuccio recently posted..Why Do People Settle For Less?My Profile

    • Donna.Merrill
      Twitter:
      January 10, 2013 at 8:12 pm #

      Hi Sylviane,

      I appreciate you coming to my post.

      I talk to myself too when doing affirmations because it works better when we are neuro-linking to our subconscious.

      Thanks,
      Donna
      Donna.Merrill recently posted..Is It Crazy To Talk To Yourself?My Profile

  19. Mark Walsh January 10, 2013 at 4:50 pm #

    This is a very interesting Donna,

    My wife thinks it’s funny that I sometimes talk to myself; not out loud but just quietly. I tell her that I just thinking out loud but she puts it down to one of my eccentricities!

    I agree it’s of great importance that you choose your language carefully whether it’s out loud or not.

    Enjoyed your post, thanks

    Mark
    Mark Walsh recently posted..Essential Advice when Selecting Your New Network Marketing OpportunityMy Profile

    • Donna.Merrill
      Twitter:
      January 10, 2013 at 5:09 pm #

      Thanks Mark!

      To be mindful of our words is so important. I talk to myself all the time when I’m home. Well, with new technology, I guess I can do it outside too he he..

      But when it comes down to it. If we “catch ourselves” saying something that is reinforcing our subconscious to stop us from growth, then we need to change the phrase around.

      Donna
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